I suddenly felt quite old and wise. I repeated the words in my head. Third pregnancy. That would make me a pro by now, right? Something I can probably just breeze through. Never mind that my first pregnancy lasted only two weeks or so (after I found out I was pregnant, that is) and ended in a heart-wrenching miscarriage.
It was a beautiful two week period. The excitement of finding out that a life was growing within me was overwhelming. Countless plans and expectations soon came crashing down and I spent my first wedding anniversary flat on my back, hoping against hope that somehow, the life within would put up a fight and sustain. It was not meant to be. Thinking back, I now realise that it was for the best. I grew, professionally and personally, in leaps and bounds the following year.
The second time round, praise the Lord, it was meant to be, and I delivered a beautiful bundle of joy, complete with powerful ear-splitting wails. I had a harrowing C-section experience, followed by night after night after night of trying to constantly coax, sing and plead the wailing baby to please, please go to sleep. She was a very light sleeper during the day too, so you can imagine how much rest I got. This went on for over a year. She is almost two now but still wakes up twice at night. Despite being a complete brat from day one, our daughter enveloped our lives with love and a warm, cosy, baby pink feeling of fulfilment. I don’t think I have experienced anything as beautiful as the feeling I get when my baby girl puts her chubby little arms around me and says “Love you, Mamma.”
This time feels nothing like the previous two. Our future plans didn’t have a second child in it. But there I was, in the doctor’s office talking about nausea, tiredness and the other baggage that comes with pregnancy. And here I am, announcing my pregnancy to the world through my blog. :)
It’s elation I feel again, but from a different perspective this time. My daughter will have a sibling. I can be a mom to one more little person. It’s uncanny that one can have enough love to go around no matter how big a family one has. It’s still a strange feeling though, the love that I’m feeling, having not being in the scheme of things for us. I’m still trying to come to terms with it. My thoughts and feelings are a little too disoriented right now, but that could be due to the hormonal rollercoaster my body is experiencing.
A minor complication put my doctor on high alert. She tells me it’s too early to know if the foetus is strong enough. We’ll know after two weeks. If we can detect the heart beat at that point, things should be fine. Until then, I’m told I need to put my feet up and get some rest. I’m nervous. I hope the little angelic life within will pull through. And when we are back at the doctor’s office in two weeks I hope to see that miraculous heartbeat flutter on the ultrasound.
Congratulations Sumira!!!
ReplyDeleteI will pray for both you and the little angel growing inside of you.
This is the first post that I have read after logging in tonight and I am so glad I did.
Do take care.
Hugs
Thanks Sweets... looks like we are doing pretty okay for now. Hugs right back at you. :)
ReplyDeleteSending prayers your way. Hang in there, tough lady :)
ReplyDeleteCongrats! :-)) There's something about babies that makes you go, God, can I have one more? After going through all the C Section and other trauma as well! Will pray for you..TC
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I was so glad to read that you were happy about your second pregnancy. I like you had no plans for a second child so soon. When my daughter was 8 months, I discovered I had been pregnant for the last 3 months. I was depressed for the longest time and couldn't reconcile. I hate to think how that would have affected my son. Things are still tough but I can't imagine not having had him :)Good luck with the second one.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, Sumira.
ReplyDelete@Judy: Thanks for the prayers. I'll need them. :)
ReplyDelete@Andaleeb: My husband and I were in different countries when I had my baby. After the surgery, the first thing I said to him over the phone was "Congratulations! By the way, I don't want another baby!"
@TRQ: Oh I was completely depressed too. I'm so glad I didn't write the post in that state. I would have had to take it off. I'm quite looking forward to it now. But only the good parts. :)
@AP: Thank you, uncle. Megna told me she gave you the link to my blog. Thanks for visiting and commenting. :)
Congratulations Sumira and a great piece of writing. My prayers are with u and ur baby.
ReplyDeleteThanks Santoshi! For your comment and for your prayers.
ReplyDelete:) congrats once again...all I can say is that babies are blessings. They're truly a magical wonder.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is great news! Congrats!!! :)
ReplyDeleteNow I feel like having another baby! :D
Good luck with the pregnancy. Everything will work out just fine in 2 weeks inshallah.
Wow. This is great news! Congrats!!! :)
ReplyDeleteNow I feel like having another baby! :D
Good luck with the pregnancy. Everything will work out just fine in 2 weeks inshallah.
@Kavita: Yes, babies are truly a blessing. I guess the whole process has to be a struggle so we realise and appreciate the magnificence of creation. *sigh*
ReplyDelete@Masood: Haha.. I won't be surprised if I read a family expansion post on your blog soon. :) By the way, when are your wife and son getting back?
InshaAllah things are looking better. Looks like we are pulling through. :)
It'll be another month before they are back. Maybe sooner. Depends on how fast she gets her work done there.
ReplyDeleteMy kiddo is a little over a year old now. And I already miss his first few months. All the more reason to have another baby! :D
Congrats Sumee, and all the best for the coming months :)
ReplyDeleteHey Sumi!!!!!!!!!congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!i know how the news of the 2nd one hits you.....its confusing,i can understand!!!but the joy of watching the siblings interact is priceless!!!i will remember you in my prayers....am sure its going to be a whole new wonderful experience!!!hugs!
ReplyDeletehi there... dropped here the 1st time... nice post... n yes, the lil angelic life within will give you that wonderful feel once again... god bles.. :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my blog, Sulo! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteGood to see you again after a long time - are you still in communication with Megna? I have commenced a new blog - zhikodan.blogspot.com - please visit- regards, uncle & aunty
ReplyDelete