Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Terrible Tuesday

This morning has been quite a strain on my nerves. I woke up to find that the constant hip ache that has plagued me since the start of this pregnancy has decided to do some more damage. The pain is currently radiating to various connecting bones and stretching right down to my toes. Now my penguin walk (given the size of my ever growing belly) is even more pronounced and I feel like a penguin with crutches. At least that’s the pace I’m walking at.

The pregnancy has been weird for Z. As a toddler she finds it difficult to understand why her mamma is suddenly so tired all the time, why she can’t play wrestle and tickle games anymore, why she can’t sit on mamma’s tummy , why mamma won’t pick her up and carry her around (my heart breaks when she asks, so I do pick her up at times, only to be scolded by those around), among other things.

My lethargy has resulted in Z constantly running late for play school for about a week. The teachers at school usually take a few minutes of tardiness in their stride but today when we arrived a good 20 minutes late, the teacher-in-charge thought it best to bring it to my attention that being late is causing Z to miss out on the funnest part of school – nursery rhymes. I already knew this. But as I heard her gently and most politely give me a lesson on ‘Time and tide wait for no pre-schooler’, the blasted pain in my hips threatened to explode and my legs were ready to buckle. Not to be left behind, the little one growing in my womb decided to make a statement with a powerful kick. I struggled to be composed as I apologised for being late so often and assured her I would try my best to bring Z to school on time. I hope she didn’t notice the tears pricking my eyes, as she enquired about my health and commented on how weak I looked. Unable to handle the sudden concern about how I felt, I quickly ended the conversation and turned to walk back home, tears spilling over. The rain clouds gathered and decided to keep me company with their own tears and I wondered why oh why I was being so silly and full of self pity. The answer lies in this post – I hate messing up what I do and Z becoming a tardy child because of my problems is unforgivable.

Also it was just one of those days. The combination of physical discomfort and sleep deprivation was getting to me. Not to mention, the frustration of dealing with a tantrum-throwing toddler and the jitters of knowing that I’ll soon have to handle and be responsible for two children (not counting the hubby). Also, today is the day my feet have started to look a little swollen. I can only pray that I don’t end up with elephant feet like the last time I was pregnant. Lastly, I’ve been waiting all these months for the shiny and luscious head of hair that pregnant women can flaunt, but it just didn’t happen this time. *sigh* Okay, I’m done with wallowing in self pity.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Wedding Anniversary Special

I completed five years of marriage today.

Last night I revisited the Sumira who existed 8 or 9 years ago. Hubby and I took a trip down memory lane. We went through the numerous cards and letters we had given each other during our courtship. It was a wonderfully sweet experience to relive those first flutters, those hopes for the future, those tender, earnest and heart-breaking young promises. The words we chose in our correspondences made me smile at their innocence, laugh aloud at the lovey-doveyness and get all teary-eyed at the journey and the story behind it all.

It’s the story of two college kids who fell hopelessly in love. It’s the story of two individuals who come from starkly contrasting environments and cultures, who met in Mumbai and decided to spend the rest of their lives together... It’s the story of a boy and girl who came face to face with plenty of opposition to their union, but overcome it all and finally won everyone over. It’s a true story. A happy story. A story that came rushing back in all its beauty at 12 am, 5th September 2010 as the couple sat on their bed and tried to read the cards and keep their impish 2-year-old daughter’s hands from destroying them. You know that feeling makes you feel warm and safe and happy? The one that tells you, right now, in this moment, all is right with the world and that you are truly blessed to have what you have? That was the feeling that enveloped this small beautiful family last night.

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After getting all that mush out of my system, I think I should end on a cute note. Z was feeling a little left out as we were reminiscing about our wedding day. She was wondering how she wasn’t a prominent character in the story. If you’ve met my daughter, you’ll know how much she loves being the centre of attention. She decided that desperate times called for desperate measures. She must soon say something to divert the family attention and conversation back towards herself, and fast. She picked up the nearest cell phone and pretended to make a call. This is what she said, with a dead serious and straight face.

“Hello? Ummm... mujhe aapse shaadi karni hai”

(English translation: Hello? Ummm... I want to marry you.)

She then looks at the phone with a shocked expression and says, “Arey! Ye tho band hogaya!”

(English translation: Huh? The line went dead!)